Discovering your heart with the Flag Page
Do you know what motivates the people you love?
The Flag Page is something that is very interesting to me. There are a lot of various personality tests out there, but this one is a motivation test. We don't really care about your personality; we care about what motivates you. What do you truly love about life? What do you care about? What is right about you? That's what the Flag Page is about.
Mark Gungor - Laugh your way to a better marriage
Mark Gungor wrote Discovering Your Heart with the Flag Page. I absolutely love Mark Gungor; he is a fantastic speaker and advocate of marriage, and he has a lot of really great ideas about it. His seminar “Laugh your way to a better marriage” is absolutely fantastic. I love all the things he says and how he explains things and I also appreciate his Christian viewpoint on marriage.
He wrote this book to explain a little bit more about the Flag Page.
Now if you buy it here, you can get your own Flag Page along with the book. If you buy it here, you can just get the book. If you want only the Flag Page, you can get that here. Here is a brief introduction by Mark Gungor.
I personally didn’t get the Flag Page, but mostly guessed at what my husband and I would score by reading the book. I think it has a lot of value and gave me a lot of insights into myself and my loved ones.
The first thing talked about is countries; there are four countries: Control, Fun, Peace and Perfect. These categories can give you some information on these people.
I highly recommend you watch this video where Gungor explains the countries. He gives a perfect explanation in a fun way.
Brief Country Summary
Control country is made up of people who want to get things done and feel appreciated.
Fun country is where people want to have fun and get noticed.
Perfect country is made up of people who want to get everything right and feel understood.
Peace country is where people want to get along and feel respected.
I am very distinctively a Fun country person, with Control in second. (Basically everything he says about both are completely me.) Look at me and get it done! Control and Fun people tend to be the world's greatest leaders (I wouldn’t say I’m there, but I definitely hope to be one day).
My husband, Ross, is from Peace. The first time I heard Gungor describe a Peace person, I was thinking, "Oh my goodness, that's just like Ross!" Just hearing Gungor's explanation in the video helped me understand several things I hadn't previously about Ross. His next country is Perfect. He's under the world's greatest workers category (which he is a great worker, so that definitely makes sense).
I find it funny that Ross and I are opposites in our countries. I found that noticing this distinction helped me understand better why Ross doesn’t think like I do. Personally, I don’t care if I’m doing something right, I just want to get it done, but Ross is more of a perfectionist, so he cares a lot about doing everything correctly, preferably the first time. As such, we approach tasks differently, and both methods have advantages, so it’s nice that we see things differently. This helped me understand and accept those differences better.
The Flag Page also tells you your soft versus hard motivations. Some people are a little on the soft side as they value personal connections and some people are more on the hard side with concrete motivations. Ross and I are probably split between soft and hard, but Ross is a little more on the soft side and I’m a little more on the hard side (because he's a sweetheart and I have a checklist).
Gungor explains what that means in the book.
There are five different talents given by the Flag Page. The talents are: people talents, task talents, creative talents, leading talents, and showman talents. They are somewhat straightforward, but you can learn about them from the book (or the Flag Page).
The Flag Page also states your five biggest motivations. It takes the five things that you need to be really happy. These can be things like: sense of humor, musicality, sincere at heart, encouragement, sympathetic, steady, thoughtful, neat, inspirational, and things like that. When you create your own Flag Page that's unique to you, you can figure out what things you really need to focus on to be truly happy.
For instance, music is incredibly important to me. As such, I really appreciate it when people are understanding of my need for music and don’t mind when I’m making music where I am. I also thrive on encouragement, so I get very nervous if I don't get positive feedback and I find that feedback very motivating.
The interesting thing about the Flag Page is that generally the things that are most important to you are the things people will often criticize about you. People often deny you what you want most without knowing. By becoming aware of what it is you and your loved ones want most, you can make your lives better and strengthen your relationships.
Ross and I have gone through the ideas in the book more than once, and the most recent time he pointed to his top motivations, I was a bit shocked, because when I read the description of his number one motivation, I realized that I had been very inconsiderate of that. That's the wonderful thing about knowing what matters most to someone you care about: you can start giving them what they want most.
Remember, the Flag Page is about what is right about you.
You don't necessarily have to purchase a Flag Page, though if you do have the money for that, I would recommend it because it's insightful. But even if you don't, I would highly recommend reading the book and watching the video, so you can kind of get an idea for yourself, like I did.
At the least I would recommend thinking about what truly makes you happy in life. Think about your motivation and think about the person you care about most. What is their motivation? I want you to identify that motivation for them (or ask them) and try to be more sensitive about whatever it is.
For instance, say someone you care about really loves to be witty. Don't criticize their humor, because that's something that is very close to their heart. Maybe you can complain about their tidiness, because they don't care about that as much. Be sensitive to what truly matters to those you care about.