• Anne

Friend-zone your spouse! (Not in the way you may think though)

Updated: Mar 30

Are you friends with your spouse?

Personally, I’ve never liked the term “friend-zone”, because it puts a negative implication on the word “friend”. If someone you are romantically interested in calls you a friend in our society, it means you don’t have a prayer, romantically speaking.


First of all, friend and significant other should not be mutually exclusive terms! I should hope that you’re friends with your significant other (unfortunately too many people aren’t).


A friend

A friend is someone who is there for you. You can confide in them, you laugh, talk, goof off, and have a great time together. You have inside jokes. You know each other’s tastes, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and more. You want to be around each other and you talk when you get the chance. You are present with each other and pay attention. These acts of love and service are mutual when you’re real friends.


A spouse

A spouse is the person you chose to be your best friend forever (at least that’s ideal). You live together, build a home together, counsel each other, raise a family together, you are lovers, and you support each other. You see, a spouse is not meant to be a mere lover, but a lover mixed in with a best friend that you always have with you.


As such, I consider the word friend to be a compliment in a relationship.


My best friend

My husband is the best friend I’ve ever had; he is always there for me and we take care of each other. We text each other when we are apart, we talk about our interests, we goof off together, we try to be together as much as we can, and we simply enjoy being around each other.


I’ve heard that husbands make lousy girlfriends, but I don’t understand why. I guess I’m lucky, but I talk to Ross about everything and more that I used to talk about with my girl friends growing up.


That’s one of the amazing things about marriage is you are so connected in so many ways. You are (hopefully) romantic with each other, you can hang out and chat like buddies, and you work and build a life together like partners. A spouse is like an all-in-one complete package of friend, confidant, sweetheart, companion, partner, and dream come true.


Marriage is important! Don't take the best person in your life for granted.


Challenge

If you don’t consider your spouse/significant other your best friend, it might be time to do some friend-zoning. Do not take away the romantic aspect of your relationship, but try being friends! Do what friends do: talk, go for a walk, go out for an activity, go on a date, tell your secrets, have a “sleepover” where you stay up late talking (This is so much fun! I like to say that marriage is like having regular sleepovers with your best friend). It might be a lot of fun!


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